The Dangers Of A Haircut
by NaniWise
Summary: Modern Au. Short. Crack. Don't interrupt Nea's sleep, particularly on a Monday. Just don't do it. Please R n R.


(What is this? How should I know. I own nothing. Please enjoy. God bless.)

Nea did not consider himself a cruel person to some extent.

Whatever actions he took that seemed to be cruelty on a surface level were usually well deserved by whoever was on the receiving end, so was not exactly cruel.

Especially not to those who he considered to be his family.

More specifically, not Mana, his older twin brother.

That being said, having his phone ring till he awoke at four in the morning on a Monday morning could have that unusual and little known effect of blurring those lines.

No, Nea was not a cruel person.

However, he would admit to being quite passive aggressive.

That much was true.

Glancing up from his feather soft pillow, he reached over to his nightstand, picked up his iPhone X, and swiped to dismiss the call.

Despite Nea's raging headache, the silence that followed was pure bliss to his ears.

He immediately went back to sleep with the pleasant thought of his twin huffing and puffing all offended at his ignored call. He was probably making comments about "The nerve" and "The gall" at that very moment. Nea was only slightly sad he missed the probably hilarious whining.

Nea then proceeded to have a rather mature dream about an island resort, a couple million dollars, and his supervisor Lulubell in a bikini interrupted by the rather obnoxious melodic chirp of his phone, notifying him that he was being texted.

Nea's eyes flew open. Now he was quite a bit irritated.

Perhaps it was just a case of the Mondays and a severe hatred for his job but no one should be allowed to interrupt his beauty sleep like this, not even his own brother.

With a growl, he sat up in bed and snatched up his phone.

There were about ten texts, with still more coming, all of which from Mana and all of which barring the title "URGENT" In all caps followed by a billion and two exclamation points.

Without further ado, he clicked on the most recent one to open the chat room.

Mana's texts said a wide variety of things, but could all be summed up as the most melodramatic cry for help ever, even daring to call their mother on him, which was stupid as their mother was an old lady but would probably cone anyway and Nea would not stand for Mana disturbing their dear mother's sleep on this wretched morning.

TheGeniusNea entered the chat room.

TheGeniusNea: Okay calm down. Calm down. Deep breaths.

ACuteImbecile:WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING MY TEXTS???????

TheGeniusNea: I was busy.

ACuteImbecile: ITS THREE IN THE MORNING WHAT COULD YOU POSDIBLY BE DOING?????????????

TheGeniusNea: SLEEPING WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

ACuteImbecile: NO WTH IS WRONG WITH YOU ANSWER ME WHEN I NEED HELP!!!!!!

TheGeniusNea: Okay okay, you win. Wdy want.

ACuteImbecile: Well, I don't need anything but I really need your help!

TheGeniusNea: Use your words. What with?

ACuteImbecile: iTS URGET IT'S ALLEN

ACuteImbecile: HE LOCLKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE

TheGeniusNea: WTF, why???

ACuteImbecile: Okay…. Don't laugh…..

ACuteImbecile: I may have gotten a haircut

TheGeniusNea: WAIT WTF WHY????

ACuteImbecile: That's not the issue!

TheGeniusNea: HOW SHORT?!?!

ACuteImbecile: FOCUS!!! I DIDN'T TELL ALLEN I CUT MY HAIR

ACuteImbecile: HEVTHOUGHT I WAS YOU AND LOCKED ME OUT

TheGeniusNea: WAIT WUT????

ACuteImbecile: JUST OVER HERE AND HELP ME I LEFT A CASSEROLE IN THE OVEN!!!

At this point, Nea was laughing out loud. He was so hysterical, he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

He had no idea the Mana's kid, Allen hated him so much that he would lock him out if he showed up too suddenly in the morning.

Perhaps he was also having a bad case of the Mondays.

But again, these were the sorts of advantages only identical twins got the privilege of and Nea was not about to waste them.

It was fantastic, absolutely fantastic.

But he still did not want to do it. He still hated his life and he was not about to improve other's lives at his own expense, even if that other was his brother.

But then Nea, a not cruel person was struck by a rather cruel thought.

Didn't Mana have a pool at his house?

With a devilish raise of his eyebrow, he replied to his brother, telling him he'd be there in twenty minutes.

He had to take a bit more time to drop by the hair shop to purchase some extensions.

Yes they looked terrible and were way overpriced but an eight year old like Allen would never be able to tell the difference.

And so, at five in the morning, Nea arrived at his brother's pricey suburban house to observe the most hilarious of scenes.

Mana was still in his blue Pajama's, pressed up against the door screen, declaring a wide variety of things in hopes of getting his foster child to undo the deadbolt.

Said foster son, Allen, just stood there watching him with a harsh glare, holding a golden key to all the locks in the house in his tight little fists.

Nea could not actually blame the kid, as the haircut was incredibly offputting.

It wasn't that it was bad, just far more different that either one of them would like.

Now here it was.

Nea's chance to make an entrance.

He slapped his car's steering wheel and it let out a loud honk.

Both his family members turned to look to him.

It gave Nea far too much pleasure to crush the look of hope on Mana's face.

"Don't let him in!" He said in his sweetest voice, "I'll be up there in a second, darling. I just had to by groceries, Allen."

And just as much pleasure to bring the look of diluted hope to Allen's.

And so, Nea walked right past the real Mana and Allen let him in happily, genuinely believing him to be his father.

Once again, the dead bolt was locked.

Good thing. Nea did not want his adventures through his brothers nice house to be disturbed that quickly.

And again, Nea did not consider himself a cruel person to some extent.

Whatever actions he took that seemed to be cruelty on a surface level were usually well deserved by whoever was on the receiving end, so was not exactly cruel.

Especially not to those who he considered to be his family.

More specifically, not Mana, his older twin brother.

That being said, having his phone ring till he awoke at four in the morning on a Monday morning could have that unusual and little known effect of blurring those lines.

It's just a bad idea.

Don't do it.


End file.
